


Who hasn't had gay thoughts???

by VeryFirstCream



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Parks and Recreation
Genre: Ben falls victim to a procrastinating asshole (me), Ben is emo in disguise, F/M, M/M, and he has a batman kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-18 21:45:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5944174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryFirstCream/pseuds/VeryFirstCream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben is sad and lonely and has gay thoughts about Dallon Weekes because I was showering and realized they're both huge fucking nerds and I want them to love each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who hasn't had gay thoughts???

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this last night in a sudden boost of creativity. No regrets.
> 
> I don't expect anyone to actually read this, but it was fun writing. :)

What's the point. No really. Ben would like to know because right now he's clueless. Sitting in his room, alone with his batman costume he thinks of the time when he thought he'd finally found something that gave his life purpose and worth. And he misses it terribly.  


Maybe he's exaggerating a little. No wait, he's actually exaggerating the hell out of it. He can live without Leslie, he lived without her before and it wasnt a bad life!  


Kind of boring maybe.  


But he'll do okay and eventually get over it. He doubts that that can happen in Pawnee though.

Sure, he said a while ago that he really liked the people here, and how passionate they are, but let's face it, the real reason why he stayed was Leslie. And it will be because of the same reason why he is going to leave. Some day. Probably.

What the hell is keeping him here. Is it really the people? This town doesn't even have a good calzone place! (Well at least he thinks so. He couldn't bring himself to ask anyone out of fear they'd make fun of him or punch him.) Or is it actually the hope that things with Leslie will miraculously work out again one day?  
How stupid.

Man, he is so sad.  
And lonely.  
And tired.

He's also extremely annoyed and maybe slightly intrigued by _how loud_ April and Andy can be during sex. He puts on some music to block the sound, but it's not like he isn't already traumatized.

As he puts the CD in it occurs to Ben that he should maybe find a place to hide his music from Andy and April, what with them constantly coming into his room without his consent and all that.

Being _The Nerd_ is already terrible enough but if those two found his music... He cringes at the thought. He can _never_ let that happen.

Noone. _Noone_ shall ever know that Ben Wyatt is actually a super full blown complete emo in disguise. He doesn't really expect anyone to suspect it though because he kept it so well hidden for years that the idea alone must sound crazy to most people.

Truth is, Ben Wyatt is such a slut for Panic! At The Disco. But pshhhhh.  
He lowkey stalks the _entire band_ on instagram. He's not exactly sure who belongs to the band and who doesn't but he likes to say that he doesnt care because he enjoys the **b** and for the m **u** sic they make.

It's a lie. And it's a lie he tells _himself_ on a regular basis which is even worse.

There's no den **y** ing it, no matter how hard he tries. There's just _something_ about the man at the bass, Dallon Weekes that... Makes him feel... Something.  
He's not really sure what it is but fortunately he has the whole e **v** ening to figure it out. It's not l **i** ke he has anywhere to be tonight...

As Ben thinks ab **o** ut it, he realises that there definitively is some kind of affection towards Dal **l** on, but can you blame him? Th **e** y are both huge nerds, so of course they are somehow con **n** ected on a deeper, soul reaching level. Dallon was so lucky to have **t** aken more than just one selfie with the TARDIS and everytime Ben sees one of **t** hose, he doesn't know w **h** at to drool over, the TARDIS or that unfa **i** rly attractive nerd next to it.

There he said it. Dallo **n** Weekes is attractive. Obviously he's sayin **g** that in a purely objective and ob **s** ervant way: He kn **o** ws aspects of attractiveness and that Dallo **n** is outstanding in all of them. He's tall, has great voluminous ha **i** r, he plays bass which adds like 2000 bonus poin **t** s of sexiness and he's also very bea **u** tiful. These are all of course completely **n** eutral observations of Ben who just knows a beautiful man when he s **e** es him.

Batman for instance. He' **s** beautiful. Muscular and... Well there's not really much more to say about Batmans outer appearance.

Or Dallon in a Batman costume, that would be something. If he's only half the nerd Ben is, he surely owns a batman costume. Ben wonders what Dallon would do with his costume because he probably doesn't sit alone in his room and cries in it.  
Hypothetically, if he really owned a Batman costume, he could use it for... Kinky stuff...

Ben grimaces. Does he really want to think about Dallon Weekes doing kinky stuff? Then again, Leslie and him used to do roleplay all the time when they were still dating. _Would Leslie have agreed to being batman?_ , Ben asks himself. She probably wouldn't fit in his costume though, what with her boobs and stuff... But it wouldn't fit Dallon either, he's too tall.

Wait, Dallon has his own costume in this scenario though. They could even both be batman! Imagine that, two Batmans, a beautifully tall one and a smaller one, grinding against each other...

Ben imagines it.

"Oh my God!", he calls out a few moments later. He did not know he had such a vivid imagination in regards to kinky batman sex with hot bass players.  


He turns his music up and presses his fingers to his temples, hoping to get rid of the mental images through that. But the sounds, even though they were completely imaginary, linger on as well, like the high pitched moaning that still somehow rings in his ears.

He needs to get rid of those thoughts. Not because they embarrass him (come on, who hasn't had gay thoughts?) but because his Batman costume is kind of getting tighter at places and he has no intention of taking it off tonight. Or ever.

The costume somehow gives him confidence (and makes his butt looks cute) and it's a reminder of who he is. He's more than just a government employee, he's allowed to have fun and _a life_ here in Pawnee (rhymes hehe). He might not have many friends and he doesn't go out that much (maybe he could become a rapper in his spare time) but at least he has a batman costume. That's pretty cool. And wearing it makes the little strains of everyday life, like fixings the WiFi router for April and Andy, a little less annoying and even a bit adventurous. It's like he's someone else entirely, a second identity, like batman. Only that he doesn't fight criminals to protec the city (although in a way he probably indirectly does that in his job) but he fights for his own survival in Pawnee, and for his own happiness.

He can be happy.  
He can be happy without Leslie and without Dallon in a batman costume.

Okay maybe not without Leslie.

**Author's Note:**

> you read this? wow. thanks!


End file.
